I´M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!

Hay días en los que me siento así....por resiliencia siempre repunto...pero lo que siento en esos momentos es un poco así...hasta en otro language...y al verre...

I´m too old for this shit!

Hi. My name is Mariana. And the cat is in my bedroom. The night is cloudy today. I´m depres. I hate this. Why always is the same story? In this days i´m asking myself: what´s the point? Why i can´t take a road straight right to the point and joyfully in there, feeling that i´m on my home, that i´m in home, that i´m in my land, in my country, in my life, in the right place where i can be ME? In some way i think that always i´m nearly but i can´t get it. I hate to be this way. I want to be me, all me, i want to be happy with me. I want to do the things in a way that makes me felt usefull, empowered. Too much things, too much living in me and i can´t get satisfaction and i try and i try…Some things here, some things there, some capacities in that or this and…It´s no usefull. Doesn´t seems to be right. What more can i do? What i´m not doing? What more to learn? What more to say and in what way? What more to do? I´m not getting the idea. I can´t find my home. My home in me. My me home. What´s my problem? Nothing seems to fit in. I can't grow up. I want to grow up in my way but my way don´t seems to fit in the world. So lonely in my head. Too much noise in here. Too much thoughts, too much feelings. Too much everything and… what you get? Nothing. That´s what i felt. Too much of nothing because nothing it's what always get of too much in. Too much and i got nothing for me, and from me and for my own. Nothing it´s seems what i can get for my life. Don´t wanna be more inspired."

No soy de aquí. Ni soy de allá.

Mariana Méndez

Mayo 2012
Buenos Aires -  Argentina

Exotic -  Empath - Resilient - Healer - Artist  - Light Warrior -  Wayseer